From May 27 to June 4 we took a trip through Lithuania, Latvia, and Estonia. We started by spending one night in Kaunas, Lithuania before going to Vilnius, Lithuania for about 3 days. Then, we traveled to Riga where we spent 2 nights before making our way to Tallinn, Estonia for 2 nights. Some students have written poems, reflections, and journals about their stays in each of the cities.
Paneriai
I love the woods, they’re beautiful
These woods look no different
The crunch of your steps
Smell of the fresh air
Light in the trees
Wind in the leaves
I could be happy to stay here forever if only it was by choice
I stand at the edge of a pit, trying to grasp it’s size
If my singular body feels this small, how many did it take to fill it?
How. many.
Who’s parents, kids, cousins, friends or lovers?
Who
Were my ancestors here? Which end of the gun were they on?
Did they know when their last goodbye was?
Villains tried to hide their sins but the earth remembers
Though the bodies are long gone the empty space remains
Lush and green, dandelions full of unclaimed wishes
Mother earth took what little they left of themselves and turned it into something beautiful
Does she know who was here when she hugged them in her grasp?
Did she resist when they were ripped away?
A single candle lays at the bottom, the altar of death
One candle for so many lives
I walk around the bottom, feeling the grass brush against my legs
It’s almost as though they are reaching out to be saved
Who is in this grass?
Who could they have been had they been given the chance?
A camera has a lot of power and a picture is worth 1000 words,
Yet I’ve never felt so powerless and 1000 words doesn’t feel like enough
No amount of words or trick of the camera can portray the weight of this place
There’s normally so many songs running through my head but the air has stolen them
Even the saddest are full of too much hope
Does everyone feel this, or do you need the history?
I can’t read the words left for those who were here, but maybe they’re not meant for me
This isn’t my story, so what gives me the right to have power to tell the story of the powerless?
I don’t have the skill to portray the weight that this place holds, and yet I can’t do nothing with it
Hopefully all you need is air in your lungs and just a little bit of care
Because that’s all I have
-Indigo Gott, Paneriai (Holocaust Mass Killing Site in Vilnius)
KGB Museum Response
No words can describe the way I felt in this place
Tight chest, breathe
Every moment, fleeting
Every move, forced
These rooms have so many stories
So much death
So much pain
Breathe. Breathe.
Only enough space to turn around
Four concrete walls, trapped
Iron doors
Lights that won’t turn off
Sleeping on the floor
Lucky to be alive
Breathe
Heaving and tears
Padded rooms, no one can hear you
Straight jacket, torture
Interrogation, hours and hours
Breathe oh god breathe
Shower rooms,
Fall into the water
Freezing on a pedestal
No space
Standing standing standing
Breathe breathe breathe
My chest pounds in pain for these people
How could we, how could we
Tears well up in sync with the falling and rising of my shoulders
Empty rooms filled with unspeakable things
Outside is no better
15 minutes a day to experience the earth
Barely alive, only kept in concrete barriers
barbed fences higher than their hopes
The last one.
The worst one.
Kitchen, where they come to die
Here I can no longer think of,
Gunshots ringing in my ears.
Images of blood and bullet holes
I can no longer breathe.
I must escape
I must survive
I must tell others about these people
Their stories
I can’t forget
-Cassidy Walker, Vilnius
Tallinn was our break, for almost seven days straight we visited places with unimaginable pain sewn into the foundation. We went to places with each step we took, we could feel the death and destruction that took place with each site we visited. Memorials, pits, and museums that would talk about the horrible occupation that took place among the Baltics, death sites, and concentration camps. Tallinn was our escape, our place to breathe and reflect on all we just learned, a place to relax.
The first night was beautiful. We had finally arrived in Tallinn, Estonia after a five-hour bus ride and a visit to a concentration camp along the way. When we got off the bus, I think all of us needed a breath of fresh air from the heavy thoughts we all were carrying on the bus.
From that moment on, Tallinn was a whirlwind of fun. The EMU and LCC group got to go on a night walk of the Old Town and see the most beautiful sites in all of Tallinn as the sun was setting on the Baltic coast. We were all in the moment together, laughing and singing and taking some fun pictures of each other with the most amazing sky and city in the background.
In my journal, I wrote “This city is like nothing I have ever seen before, it is old but loved. It has the best architecture, views, even the air feels lighter here. I wish we could stay here for more than two days just to take it all in”. We got a tour around the city, got to see the tallest steeple (of a Lutheran Church) in Europe, see where the square where the first mention of a public Christmas tree was placed, and so much more.
The main highlight of this city, and for some the entire trip, was the Ballet. After a feast at Old Hansa where we ate until we couldn’t anymore, we had the opportunity to see the National Estonian Ballet perform Swan Lake in all of its grandeur. The show was magnificent, so much so that quite a few members of our group tried to mimic some of those ballet moves after the show. Every movement was captivating, the live orchestra complimenting each move from each dancer in perfect sync. I still remember it as though it just happened, the humming of the strings with the gentle jumps of Odette, it was truly an experience I will never forget.
-Cassidy Walker
Flesh, Blood, Life
What’s with this hate?
Do you not see this flesh?
What’s with this violence?
Do you not see this blood?
What’s with this killing?
Do you not see this life?
Capsules scatter after every fire
Covering the Earth in a disgustful ash
A new layer of ground
Bodies fall limbs twist around like dolls
Deep into a new dark never dreamt
Lifeless in moments
Pits of humanity lost in sorrowful reckoning
Many dead, never to know this life again
Some not for long
A scary dream one hopes to escape to awakening
But this time is horror filled reality
Moments pass…
Minutes…
Hours…
Days…
Months…
Years…
A new dawn rises
Birds sing the same tune, with new chirps
Bugs fly, crawl, skimy across new forms
Flowers paint the blood stained ground with soft surrender
These fresh lives don’t know this history
This land echoes its past
Never to unsee the fate that fell upon it
Trees stand tall to lift up those who came to a vicious end
Stones made into markers for lives not to be forgotten
Tears of future generations will water this land for many years to come
-Molly Piwanka
