{"id":6554,"date":"2011-04-12T10:35:39","date_gmt":"2011-04-12T14:35:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/emu.edu\/now\/news\/?p=6554"},"modified":"2011-05-11T09:56:28","modified_gmt":"2011-05-11T13:56:28","slug":"without-love-were-dead","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/emu.edu\/now\/news\/2011\/without-love-were-dead\/","title":{"rendered":"Without Love, We\u2019re Dead"},"content":{"rendered":"

HARRISONBURG, VA. — \u201cWe have cracked the code of love,\u201d announced Sue Johnson, EdD, author of Hold Me Tight<\/em>, to 1,200 people attending \u201cConversations on Attachment \u2013 Integrating the Science of Love and Spirituality,\u201d a three-day conference held at Eastern Mennonite University.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe are designed to live in community and in close relationships,\u201d Johnson explained in an interview with a reporter at a coffee break. \u201cLove is not an intoxicating mixture of sex and infatuation.\u201d<\/p>\n

Instead love is having an emotional bond with others with whom we form \u201ca safe haven from the storms of life,\u201d she said. Johnson and several other internationally recognized speakers at the conference stressed that this type of love actually enables us to live longer, with less pain and sickness.<\/p>\n

\"\"
Sue Johnson<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u201cContact with a loving partner literally acts as a buffer against shock, stress, and pain,\u201d Johnson said in Hold Me Tight<\/em>. Conversely, \u201cemotional isolation is a more dangerous health risk than smoking or high blood pressure,\u201d she wrote, citing sociologist James House at the University of Michigan.<\/p>\n

Of the five keynote speakers, Johnson and two others cited the results of several decades of research to support their assertions that caring relationships are as necessary to human life as air, food and water. The others referencing this research were neuroscientist James Coan, PhD, of the University of Virginia, and Dr. Daniel J. Siegel, a professor of psychiatry at the University of California-Los Angeles.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe brain is a social organ, and our relationships with one another are not a luxury but an essential nutrient for our survival,\u201d wrote Siegel in his latest book, Mindsight \u2013 The New Science of Personal Transformation<\/em>, to which he referred frequently in his presentation. Siegel also described how our minds work in synchronicity with those around us.<\/p>\n

\"\"
EMU philosophy professor Christian Early<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Throughout the conference, which began the evening of March 31 and ended at noon on April 2, 2011, EMU philosophy professor Christian Early, PhD<\/a>, offered brief, heartfelt responses following the major speeches, often tying modern scientific insights into love with the 2,000-year-old teachings of Jesus. \u201cIt is good for us to live in community,\u201d said Early. \u201cIt is exhausting for us to live in isolation from each other.\u201d<\/p>\n

Early added, however, \u201cCommunity can also be harmful.\u201d Strangers cannot betray us \u2013 it is those closest to us who can betray us, he noted. As a result, we must cultivate \u201chabits of repair,\u201d in order to heal harms that have been done, in addition to learning how to love healthily.<\/p>\n

Cult of Individual Questioned<\/h3>\n

The conference served to challenge the mythic image in the United States of strength being embodied in a lone individual making his or her way self-sufficiently through life, pretending not to need long-term, committed relationships.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe are seeing a paradigm shift away from the cult of the individual and back to nurturing relationships,\u201d said Annmarie Early, PhD<\/a>, a professor in EMU\u2019s counseling department. \u201cThis will be world-changing.\u201d<\/p>\n

Conference organizers expected about 700 participants, mostly from EMU, but attendees from the community inflated the total to 1,200. Filling much of the University Commons arena, the audience included retirees, church personnel and health-care providers from the community (Rockingham Memorial Hospital was a co-sponsor).<\/p>\n

As the developer of Emotion Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), Johnson led a day-long, pre-conference training on EFT for 300 people in the mental health field.<\/p>\n

\u201cForget about learning how to argue better, analyzing your early childhood, making grand romantic gestures, or experimenting with new sexual positions,\u201d Johnson said in her book and paraphrased in her speech. \u201cInstead, recognize and admit that you are emotionally attached to and dependent on your partner in much the same way that a child is on a parent for nurturing, soothing, and protection.\u201d<\/p>\n

In the conference, Johnson, Coan and Siegel all made reference to the parent-child attachment studies begun after World War II by British psychologist John Bowlby. His Canadian assistant, Mary Ainsworth, continued this research through the 1990s, becoming a renowned psychologist in her own right. This research has now has been replicated and expanded by hundreds of other researchers; it demonstrates a child\u2019s critical need for resonating with at least one caring adult in order to develop healthily.<\/p>\n

\"\"
Brain images show relationships have an impact on brain activity.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Using MRI imaging of the brain, Coan and other researchers have found that interpersonal relationships, particularly secure ones, have a measurable impact on brain activity. If someone feels threatened \u2013 resulting in a fight-flight-freeze response \u2013 this can be monitored via the \u201csignal change\u201d in his or her right amygdala, said Coan in his keynote speech. This signal increases to a high level when the threatened person is alone. The signal is attenuated by having a stranger present. It registers lowest \u2013 meaning,\u00a0 fewest signs of stress \u2013 when a partner is present.<\/p>\n

This new research by Coan and others is revolutionizing the field of psychology. It\u00a0 strongly suggests that humans are intended to live in relationship with others (that is, in families and communities), not as isolated individuals \u2013 in short, our brains function optimally when we have supportive relationships with others.<\/p>\n

Conversely, if someone feels socially rejected, it registers in the same part of the brain (the anterior cingulate cortex) as physical pain does, according to research cited in Siegel\u2019s book.<\/p>\n

Underlying Spiritual Message<\/h3>\n

As he was wrapping up his presentation, Coan said with a smile, \u201cI\u2019ve never been invited to speak about spirituality at any conference, or about God.\u201d In that respect, the EMU conference was \u201cuncharted territory,\u201d he added.<\/p>\n

Johnson told a reporter than when she was growing up in England, \u201cmy sense of spirituality got stuck in rules, dogma and dictums.\u201d After Johnson included the words to a classic hymn \u201cAbide with Me\u201d in her presentation \u2013 noting that the words spoke of the need for attachment \u2013 EMU\u2019s veteran choral conductor, Ken J. Nafizger<\/a>, surprised Johnson by leading the audience in singing \u201cAbide with Me.\u201d She later said the singing touched her deeply, bringing tears to her eyes.<\/p>\n

\"\"
Dan Siegel<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

In Mindsight<\/em>, Siegel spoke of the importance of social \u201cintegration\u201d by describing a choir in which \u201ceach member of the choir has his or her unique voice, while at the same time they are linked together in a complex and harmonious whole. One is never quite certain where the choir will take the song, but the surprises simply highlight the pleasure of a familiar, shared melody.\u201d<\/p>\n

Illustrating Siegel\u2019s words, Nafziger and his student choral group, the Chamber Singers, performed a series of songs, with audience participation, including one that the entire audience of many hundreds was coached to create out of a spoken poem. The music seemed to transcend the boundaries between secular scientists, international students, devout Christians, and equally devout skeptics. Siegel publically summed up a feeling no doubt shared by many: \u201cIt\u2019s incredible to be here.\u201d<\/p>\n

The two other keynote speakers \u2013 John Paul Lederach, PhD, professor of international peacebuilding at the University of Notre Dame, and Nancey Murphy, PhD, professor of Christian philosophy at Fuller Theological Seminary in California \u2013 offered insights into building relationships to emerge from conflict situations (Lederach) and into the links between Christian theology and the findings explored at the conference (Murphy).<\/p>\n

The proceedings of the conference are to be edited for publication in the coming year. In the meantime, interested people can download PDFs of presenters\u2019 PowerPoints at the conference follow-up page<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Annmarie<\/a> and Christian Early<\/a>, a married couple with three young boys, conceived of the conference topic more than two years ago. They were two of the four EMU professors and one staff member who spearheaded the conference. The others were biology professor Roman Miller, PhD<\/a>, whose grant-writing yielded major funding from the John Templeton Foundation, and chemistry professor Tara L. Kishbaugh, PhD<\/a>, who collaborated with Suter Science Center office coordinator Cheryl Doss in organizing the conference and ensuring that it ran smoothly.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

HARRISONBURG, VA. — \u201cWe have cracked the code of love,\u201d announced Sue Johnson, EdD, author of Hold Me Tight, to 1,200 people attending \u201cConversations on Attachment \u2013 Integrating the Science ... read more about Without Love, We\u2019re Dead<\/span><\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"author":81,"featured_media":6556,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4515,6393],"tags":[9707,10500,5838,7107,13711,9491],"feature":[],"class_list":["post-6554","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-academics","category-ma-in-counseling","tag-annmarie-early","tag-cheryl-doss","tag-christian-early","tag-john-paul-lederach","tag-ken-j-nafziger","tag-roman-miller"],"yoast_head":"\nWithout Love, We\u2019re Dead - EMU News<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/emu.edu\/now\/news\/2011\/without-love-were-dead\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Without Love, We\u2019re Dead - 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