\u201cWhat I thought I was paying for was a degree,\u201d she says, \u201cbut I left with much more. I believed that I could make a difference. Sometimes it takes others believing in us in order for us to move forward on our own behalf.\u201d<\/p>\n
As she continues to strengthen her voice and work to heal others, Carter wants to be known equally for her hardships and accomplishments, for they both shape her identity and contribute to that empowered voice \u2013 one that defies the victimhood and stigmatization she wants to help fellow survivors escape.<\/p>\n
\u201cI’m here,\u201d she says, \u201cand I’m a happy person who just happens to have a mental illness.\u201d<\/p>\n
Across the pond and back<\/strong><\/h3>\nLike many ADCP students who return to school to complete their degrees, Carter arrived on campus with a variety of responsibilities, obstacles and education experience. After growing up in a small Virginia town, she enrolled at a community college, but experienced crippling social anxiety, fearing people might think her crazy because of her depression. She \u201cfled,\u201d as she says, to England, but found that her fears followed her across the Atlantic. Realizing that her inner narrative was more caustic than anything others said was \u201cvery liberating.\u201d<\/p>\n
In England, Carter capitalized on several years of experience with computer installation and repair, becoming an IT consultant and working in web and graphic design. For five years, she also co-founded and ran \u201cParentbaby,\u201d an e-commerce site.<\/p>\n
She met and married her husband in England, and while visiting the Shenandoah Valley, they decided to move and raise their two daughters \u2013 now ages 10 and seven \u2013 in Harrisonburg. Carter sought stability: \u201ca place to belong, a place to be.\u201d But moving to a strange city without friends or career connections prompted her to seek further education. She found EMU, and \u201ceverything aligned\u201d with scholarships<\/a> and enrollment.<\/p>\n\u201cThere was never a moment when I thought, ‘This isn’t right,\u2019\u201d she says.<\/p>\n
Her classmates understood that \u201cit was not easy, whatsoever,\u201d to be both parent and student.<\/p>\n
Though deeply depressed throughout some periods of the program, she never missed a class. Her classmates were a diverse collection of people, but through meeting weekly, they developed a camaraderie. \u201cI haven’t encountered that kind of friendliness outside the program,\u201d says Carter.<\/p>\n
Terry L. Whitmore ’70, one of the more experienced professors in the ADCP program, particularly noticed her psychological battle. After one class, he called to ask how she was doing. Carter says that just hearing the phone ring was heartening. To someone who is depressed, says Carter, a simple call, or card \u201cmight be their saving grace.\u201d<\/p>\n
Through such moments of connection, Carter began to gain confidence in herself, and a sense of personal identity and worth. \u201cI became ‘me’ while I was there,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n
Finding a voice through poetry<\/strong><\/h3>\n![\"Poetry](\"http:\/\/emu.edu\/now\/is\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/43\/2015\/05\/Poetry-cover.jpg\")
<\/a>(Courtesy image)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\nTwo and a half years ago, Carter began to publish the poetry she’d written in secret throughout her life.<\/p>\n
Growing up, Carter was told that depression did not exist, and that to spare others discomfort, she should not talk about the abuse she’d endured. That silence was much worse than the abuse itself, she says. \u201cIt’s a heavy burden to carry.\u201d<\/p>\n
Her first book, \u201cMemory Chose a Woman’s Body,<\/a>\u201d was published in 2014. The poetic memoir focuses on the abuse she survived as a child, and the effects of the silence that survivors endure, while offering hope in the end. \u201cThere’s a desperation in it,\u201d says Carter, \u201cand I’m proud of that.\u201d<\/p>\nReviews have said that her poetry is \u201chard to read\u201d because of the subject matter, but Carter counters that \u201cthe truth is beautiful, even when it’s not fun and games.\u201d Nominators of the Pushcart Prize and Virginia Literacy Award agree. She also works as a visual artist, often combining art shows with poetry.<\/p>\n
Carter’s family has rallied around her work. Her mother, with whom Carter did not have a positive relationship for most of her life, was originally \u201cdead against this book coming out.\u201d But after reading the manuscript, she told Carter that \u201cshe now understands why the caged bird sings.\u201d Her mother is now one of her largest supporters.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy husband supports me and my children look up to me,\u201d says Carter. \u201cIf the whole world treated these topics the way my chosen family does, I doubt there would be a need to me to do all that I am.\u201d<\/p>\n
Sharing poetry to empower<\/strong><\/h3>\n
\u201cThere was never a moment when I thought, ‘This isn’t right,\u2019\u201d she says.<\/p>\n
Her classmates understood that \u201cit was not easy, whatsoever,\u201d to be both parent and student.<\/p>\n
Though deeply depressed throughout some periods of the program, she never missed a class. Her classmates were a diverse collection of people, but through meeting weekly, they developed a camaraderie. \u201cI haven’t encountered that kind of friendliness outside the program,\u201d says Carter.<\/p>\n
Terry L. Whitmore ’70, one of the more experienced professors in the ADCP program, particularly noticed her psychological battle. After one class, he called to ask how she was doing. Carter says that just hearing the phone ring was heartening. To someone who is depressed, says Carter, a simple call, or card \u201cmight be their saving grace.\u201d<\/p>\n
Through such moments of connection, Carter began to gain confidence in herself, and a sense of personal identity and worth. \u201cI became ‘me’ while I was there,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n
Finding a voice through poetry<\/strong><\/h3>\n<\/a>(Courtesy image)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\nTwo and a half years ago, Carter began to publish the poetry she’d written in secret throughout her life.<\/p>\n
Growing up, Carter was told that depression did not exist, and that to spare others discomfort, she should not talk about the abuse she’d endured. That silence was much worse than the abuse itself, she says. \u201cIt’s a heavy burden to carry.\u201d<\/p>\n
Her first book, \u201cMemory Chose a Woman’s Body,<\/a>\u201d was published in 2014. The poetic memoir focuses on the abuse she survived as a child, and the effects of the silence that survivors endure, while offering hope in the end. \u201cThere’s a desperation in it,\u201d says Carter, \u201cand I’m proud of that.\u201d<\/p>\nReviews have said that her poetry is \u201chard to read\u201d because of the subject matter, but Carter counters that \u201cthe truth is beautiful, even when it’s not fun and games.\u201d Nominators of the Pushcart Prize and Virginia Literacy Award agree. She also works as a visual artist, often combining art shows with poetry.<\/p>\n
Carter’s family has rallied around her work. Her mother, with whom Carter did not have a positive relationship for most of her life, was originally \u201cdead against this book coming out.\u201d But after reading the manuscript, she told Carter that \u201cshe now understands why the caged bird sings.\u201d Her mother is now one of her largest supporters.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy husband supports me and my children look up to me,\u201d says Carter. \u201cIf the whole world treated these topics the way my chosen family does, I doubt there would be a need to me to do all that I am.\u201d<\/p>\n
Sharing poetry to empower<\/strong><\/h3>\n
<\/a>Two and a half years ago, Carter began to publish the poetry she’d written in secret throughout her life.<\/p>\n
Growing up, Carter was told that depression did not exist, and that to spare others discomfort, she should not talk about the abuse she’d endured. That silence was much worse than the abuse itself, she says. \u201cIt’s a heavy burden to carry.\u201d<\/p>\n
Her first book, \u201cMemory Chose a Woman’s Body,<\/a>\u201d was published in 2014. The poetic memoir focuses on the abuse she survived as a child, and the effects of the silence that survivors endure, while offering hope in the end. \u201cThere’s a desperation in it,\u201d says Carter, \u201cand I’m proud of that.\u201d<\/p>\n Reviews have said that her poetry is \u201chard to read\u201d because of the subject matter, but Carter counters that \u201cthe truth is beautiful, even when it’s not fun and games.\u201d Nominators of the Pushcart Prize and Virginia Literacy Award agree. She also works as a visual artist, often combining art shows with poetry.<\/p>\n Carter’s family has rallied around her work. Her mother, with whom Carter did not have a positive relationship for most of her life, was originally \u201cdead against this book coming out.\u201d But after reading the manuscript, she told Carter that \u201cshe now understands why the caged bird sings.\u201d Her mother is now one of her largest supporters.<\/p>\n \u201cMy husband supports me and my children look up to me,\u201d says Carter. \u201cIf the whole world treated these topics the way my chosen family does, I doubt there would be a need to me to do all that I am.\u201d<\/p>\nSharing poetry to empower<\/strong><\/h3>\n