{"id":13317,"date":"2012-07-02T14:18:47","date_gmt":"2012-07-02T18:18:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/emu.edu\/now\/news\/?p=13317"},"modified":"2012-07-20T14:47:14","modified_gmt":"2012-07-20T18:47:14","slug":"alum-discusses-intervention-and-when-to-step-up","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/emu.edu\/now\/news\/2012\/alum-discusses-intervention-and-when-to-step-up\/","title":{"rendered":"Alum Discusses Intervention and “When to Step Up”"},"content":{"rendered":"

Emily Benner<\/a> took a step toward the noisy group of men on the train, just as one began to unbuckle his pants.<\/p>\n

\u201cHi! Can I sit down?\u201d she recalls asking after a few tense moments. Her audience, a D.C. Metro car full of passengers, was rapt. Benner \u2014 unassuming in stature, in her mid-20s with naturally blonde hair and an Eastern Mennonite University graduate \u2014 might have garnered the men\u2019s attention if she\u2019d instead blown the whistle clipped to her backpack.<\/p>\n

But, her soft words held their attention arguably better.<\/p>\n

After a short exchange, sharing a laugh about turning their friend in, she drove her point home. “I have to tell you, as a woman, watching you make sexual gestures at someone out the window was very threatening to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Simple words delivered genuinely are often the key to intervening in intense situations, area experts agree. Whether a parent is berating a child in the grocery store or the customer at the checkout is attacking the clerk, when is it right \u2014 or safe \u2014 to intervene?<\/p>\n

Bystander roles<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cBad things do happen,\u201d says Barry Hart<\/a>, Academic Director at Eastern Mennonite University\u2019s Center for Justice and Peacebuilding<\/a>. \u201cThings occur that are not healthy, but many people take a risk to say, \u2018We are a community; how can we be a better community?\u2019 \u201d<\/p>\n

He outlines four \u201cbystander roles,\u201d attributed to colleague Kaethe Weingarten:
\n1) You are a bystander who is oblivious to what\u2019s happening,
\n2) You\u2019re aware of what\u2019s happening, but don\u2019t know what to do,
\n3) You\u2019re aware, but intervene in an inappropriate way,
\n4) You feel confident enough under the circumstances to take potentially helpful action.<\/p>\n

Frequently, Benner has crossed from passive to active roles (her spontaneous intervention experience includes stopping a bike theft, a man chasing a woman, breaking up a drunken fight and confronting a group of men when they harassed her friend), using techniques she has learned from Marty Langelan, a D.C.-based expert in the field of assault.<\/p>\n

Langelan regularly teaches safety workshops at community organizations, including EMU\u2019s Washington Community Scholars\u2019 Center<\/a>, where Benner serves as assistant director.<\/p>\n

The insecurity most onlookers feel in the face of wrongdoing often keeps them stuck at the second stage. \u201cI go by my gut,\u201d Langelan says. \u201cTrust your instincts.\u201d<\/p>\n

She and Hart believe that bystanders themselves don\u2019t walk away from a violent situation unscathed. \u201cThere\u2019s the issue of how sickening it feels, inside, when we see an abusive situation, but feel helpless to stop it,\u201d Langelan explains. \u201cIn a very real sense, bystanders are harmed by seeing something wrong and doing nothing. That\u2019s called a \u2018moral injury.\u2019 \u201d<\/p>\n

Even after standing up for others many times, Benner still regrets the times she froze. Recently, when a customer threatened a cashier, she felt helpless. \u201cI wish I had called the police, or maybe asked him to repeat [himself],\u201d she remembers.<\/p>\n

\u201cShock and shutdown\u201d is a normal first reaction, Langelan assures.<\/p>\n

Hart agrees; it\u2019s a matter of being prepared with the right responses, \u201clike anything in life,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n

Potential danger<\/strong><\/p>\n

After sitting in on several of Langelan\u2019s workshops, Benner found herself mentally rehearsing crises, \u201cforming neural pathways so they\u2019re there when I need them,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

Which situation-appropriate actions was Benner preparing to take?<\/p>\n

Hart and Langelan suggest that in potentially dangerous situations, simply creating a distraction can break the cycle of violence. This can be applied to situations involving harassment or physical violence.<\/p>\n

Langelan calls it the \u201cvoice of God\u201d technique: a short, crisp command to stop, from a safe distance \u2014 she recommends at least 30 feet \u2014 that breaks their focus.<\/p>\n

Hart recently used this approach right outside his office. When he saw a man viciously attacking another man, he thought, \u201cThis is not good. I need to do something.\u201d<\/p>\n

As he exited the building, Hart\u2019s mind was rapidly recalling prior training. He asked a coworker to call the police, then stepped outside.<\/p>\n

From a distance, he commanded, \u201cStop that, stop that!\u201d he says. \u201cIt was enough of a shocker to them that they both looked up, and ran off in different directions.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLeave your cape at home,\u201d urges Langelan. Don\u2019t jump in the middle of violence to be a hero; even taking out your cell phone to snap a photo of the incident can be helpful to authorities. \u201cThe privacy stops when the violence starts … it\u2019s something that affects the whole community.\u201d<\/p>\n

Blurred lines<\/strong><\/p>\n

In less blatantly violent situations, such as verbal abuse or mistreatment, the lines between right and wrong can be blurry for a bystander.<\/p>\n

Nearly everyone has encountered a similar situation: the exhausted parent doling out unduly harsh discipline, or the diner disrespecting waitstaff.<\/p>\n

Hart lays out two options: interject directly, or distract and diffuse.<\/p>\n

But first, assess. \u201cWhen these things happen, everybody\u2019s emotional,\u201d he notes. \u201cYou are also impacted by the emotion … this is when a quick analysis can be done.\u201d<\/p>\n

He gives the example of a store clerk berated by a customer. Approaching the offender \u2014 whose own background carries reasons for the behavior \u2014 risks their turning on you.<\/p>\n

The second option is to show the cashier concern and respect, acknowledging what just happened rather than turning a blind eye.<\/p>\n

Drawing attention might seem embarrassing or feel outside of one\u2019s comfort zone, but when Benner merely made her presence known on the Metro, it opened an opportunity for real discussion. \u201cThey looked sympathetic as they nodded and just let me talk,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

Langelan says that non-judgmental approaches are key, with women\u2019s presence being especially dynamic-changing. \u201cA woman who quietly walks up and says, \u2018Whoa, what\u2019s the matter here? How can I help?\u2019 diffuses it just by her presence and body language.\u201d<\/p>\n

For her, seeing children being struck by parents especially hits home. She also considers public humiliation a form of violence.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen kids get hit, it\u2019s because the parent is out of control,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

Interrupt the scenario with what she deems the \u201cpraise the baby\u201d technique: in your most cheerful voice, compliment something visible about the child, such as, \u201cWhat a cute toddler! Look at those sneakers!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt penetrates all those emotions\u201d the frazzled adult is feeling mid-breakdown, she says.<\/p>\n

Drawing on surrounding witnesses is another option to distract and diffuse, says Hart. \u201cAsk people around you, \u2018How can we help?\u2019 That may be embarrassing, but I don\u2019t think so. Most people would say a parent hurting a child or screaming at a child is wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n

Building safer communities<\/strong><\/p>\n

Although the streets of Harrisonburg are relatively tame, Hart, Langelan and Benner vouch for the universal value of communities where eyes and ears are open.<\/p>\n

\u201cViolence breaks the common bond of humanity,\u201d Hart says. \u201cIt\u2019s there for a reason. It happens because people have been violated themselves, in small and big ways.\u201d<\/p>\n

Langelan encourages more connections, especially with otherwise-overlooked members of society. \u201cOne of the simplest ways to make any neighborhood safer is to talk to people on the street,\u201d she says. \u201cNodding, saying hello … it makes such a difference when people do start speaking up.\u201d<\/p>\n

As the train came to her stop that day, fellow passengers high-fived and thanked her for stepping in before the situation escalated.<\/p>\n

\u201cSometimes people advise me to stop intervening, because it\u2019s putting myself in danger,\u201d Benner says. \u201cBut I feel like that\u2019s a pretty narrow view … I\u2019m not the center of the universe. If I encourage a culture of people speaking up for each other … then it\u2019s a safer community for me, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

Courtesy Daily News Record, June 29, 2012<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Emily Benner took a step toward the noisy group of men on the train, just as one began to unbuckle his pants. \u201cHi! Can I sit down?\u201d she recalls asking ... read more about Alum Discusses Intervention and “When to Step Up”<\/span><\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"author":112,"featured_media":13319,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4515,266,12632],"tags":[5790,14419,14420],"feature":[],"class_list":["post-13317","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-academics","category-alumni","category-wcsc","tag-barry-hart","tag-emily-benner","tag-wcsc"],"yoast_head":"\nAlum Discusses Intervention and "When to Step Up" - EMU News<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/emu.edu\/now\/news\/2012\/alum-discusses-intervention-and-when-to-step-up\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Alum Discusses Intervention and "When to Step Up" - EMU News\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Emily Benner took a step toward the noisy group of men on the train, just as one began to unbuckle his pants. \u201cHi! 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